The computer never lies.

Hubby set up the computer to do this new thing where it has a screen of all the sites we regularly go to, in the order we go to them. Guess which site was first? Um. Yeah. Mine. I was seriously hoping it was his Gmail site. I may try to sabotage it now and just click on it before each time I open mine. What? Is that wrong? In all fairness to me I sometimes just glance at it or skim over some of my favorite blogs in about five minutes. Seriously. I try to have one day where I really take my time and get to enjoy reading and writing and then a few other days where I just spend a few minutes for maintenance. Of course sometimes I get sucked in to your worlds and the few minutes grows.... but that's hardly my fault right? Stop being so interesting. Please.

Friday Hi-Five

My five favorite hats that Kaiya has come up with lately:

1. Her slinky. While it may have not been the cutest one, it was very ingenious I thought they way she bent it around her little head and then squealed hat!!

2. Daddy's hats. This one she gets some help on, because sometimes when we can't find one of hers we make one of ours small so she can wear it. It is the cutest thing though to me when she wears one of his.

3. Play doh. Ok, this one wasn't all that thrilled with having to clean up but it sure was cute and her giggle made it worth it.

4. A kitty. I of course was scrambling to get it off her before it clawed out her eyes. They are remarkably tolerant of her considering they are now about the same age as her and you think they wouldn't put up with it as much.

5. My underwear. Ah, the classic thing that it seems all children do at some point. Luckily she picked a clean pair. I saw a funny picture that was making fun of the priceless pictures and it said: 'not telling your cousin that his underwear hat has a brown streak on it: priceless' I about peed.

Mama Bear with an Uzi

Don't you just love pregnant dreams? I had one where I was pushing Kaiya, and then the new one too, and then back to just her and then these terrorists stole the new one. So I grabbed an uzi and I chased after them. Of course, what would I do? I mean if I shot at them I could hit baby, right? It didn't quite make sense. And then I had a dream I had a baby with no eyes. That one has been haunting me. I think because we had some sweet people at our church that actually had that in real life, it was a birth defect of some kind. I guess it's just the normal pregnant jitters trying to work themselves out in my psyche. I read in wondertime that when we have bad dreams we think they are awful, but they are actually like medicine for us. I guess that makes sense. I mean, most medicine stinks going down but later you do feel better and it's the same way when you have a dream that makes you face what you're fearing. Of course things can go wrong with the baby, but that's where prayer and hope come in and there's not much I can do about it from this side of things other than just keep popping those vitamins and eating as healthy as I can. (Aaah... but that mint brownie and peanut butter ice cream sundae with hot fudge I had last night was so delightful!)

A really stinking funny email

My sister in law sends me these funny emails from time to time. And seriously? I peed my pants when it go to Aug. 8th's entry. Hubby's face turned purple on Aug. 9th's entry and he had to stop reading it aloud.

Dear Diary,

Just moved to Texas ! Now this is a state that knows how to
live!!

Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place!
It is beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

June 14th:

Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car.

What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm
turning into a sun worshipper.

June 30th:

Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots
of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing
the lawn for me.

Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th:

The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do
people get used to this kind of heat?

At least, it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the
heat is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th:

Fell asleep by the community pool. (Got 3rd degree burns
over 60% of my body). Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do.

I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a
climate like this.

July 20th:

I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left
this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita
had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag, then
popped like a water balloon.

I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.

Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes again.

July 25th:

The wind sucks. It feels like a giant blow dryer!!

And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the
fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell
me he needed to order parts.

July 30th:

Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now,
$225,000 house and I can't even go inside. Lomita is the lucky one.
Why did I ever come here?

Aug. 4th:

It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today.
It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate
this stupid state.

Aug. 8th:

If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm
going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work,
the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I
smell like baked cat!!

Aug. 9th:

Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I
sat on the seats in the car, my ass caught fire.

My skin melted to the seat. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all
the hair on the back of my legs. . . Now my car smells
like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.

Aug 10th:

I’m convinced now that the weather report is a damn recording. Hot
and sunny.

Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do Shit
for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up
next week.

Doesn't it ever rain in this damn state? Water rationing
will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over.

Even the cactus can't live in this damn heat.

Aug. 14th:

Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115 today. Cactus are dead.

Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn windshield out
of the car. The installer came to fix it and guess what he
asked me??? "Hot enough for you today?"

My sister had to spend $1,500 to bail me out of jail.
Freaking Texas .

What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here??

Will write later to let you know how the trial goe

The whole story

I'm still working on the over-protective thing. This little kid bowled over Kaiya on the way up the ladder at the pool and before I could even stop myself I was growling at him to "stop, she's a baby!" Of course she's not a baby. And he was only like five. I was actually more annoyed at his parents since he had been bobbing beside us and kept bugging me, desperate for attention, and they were on the other side of the pool gabbing with friends for an hour. I mean, I get hanging out with friends but when you're there with little ones, who don't swim that well, stop being selfish and shut up already. Or talk to your kid for a change. Of course now I'm doing what I was hoping everyone else wasn't, which was judging me. I find that the heat does not make me the most pleasant person in the world and the grueling walk over to the pool tends to drain me. I do much better once we get in and I can cool off but by then I'm fuming at all the dirty looks getting shot my way. Here's the thing: we don't know the rest of the story. You see those other, judging mothers, don't know that on this day Kaiya had already been to the pool. And she had had a cupcake treat for being such a good helper and an ice cream treat just for the heck of it (ok, it was a bribe to get her to nap) and the one thing we've been working on is getting her to slow down a bit and listen so she doesn't run straight into things and get hurt. So when we get to the pool and she tears off, she gets fussed at. Which of course leads me to wonder. I don't know their story. Maybe it was long lost friends that they were desperate to catch up with. Maybe I should just assume they looked over and saw a pleasant (ha!) pregnant lady and a little girl and so they figured their kid was fine. Maybe they were just having a bad day too. And who knows, maybe the judging mothers have the best of intentions too? Maybe they are actually giving me looks of pity because they have been six months pregnant in July in Texas with a toddler in tow and they know the special torture that is. So here's to at least skimming the book before deciding if I like the ending or not.

Mango Soap.

Me- These antacids taste like soap. 

Hubby- Well that makes sense. I mean, it's tropical flavors....

Me- Huh?

Hubby- You know, mango, pineapple and soap. 

Me- Oh. Right.

The up side of HOT

So the other day I was at the pool chatting with a neighborhood mom. I was lamenting having to be really really huge in August when she remarked that at least it wouldn't still be super hot when the baby was here. It stopped me because she was totally right. By the time he is here and I'm ready to get out of the house it will actually be perfect weather as opposed to when we were ready to romp around with Kaiya and it was just starting to get hot. So, while I still don't think this would have been my first choice for a due date at least there is an upside. Plus I like that we will totally have a reason to be very low key for Thanksgiving. Yeah! Always a bonus. So here is to the seeing the upside of whatever is disappointing you lately!

Friday Hi-Five

So baby boy name is still up in the air. Here it goes: my five favorite baby boy names.

1. Zeekthanial. No seriously. I made that one up. Don't worry. I'm not going to name my kid that. (And my sister is probably saying "thank God.") I heard the name Zeek once and thought it was so cool, but to short so I attached the ending. 

2. Caedan. I do love this name and up until a week ago it was a front-runner but unfortunately it means "round one." I mean, I can't give the kid a complex can I? I'm trying to tell myself they mean, like a rounded person, with good qualities, etc. 

3. Chance. I have always loved this name, but I'm not sure if I can get over a really annoying person I recently interacted with by the same name. Hubby never understands how I can let one person ruin it, but then he had some ex-girlfriend names that were on the no no list for Kaiya so he can't really talk.

4. Keagan. I do love this name. It has been the front runner but I want a C name this time. Someone suggested just spelling it with a C which may work. I love the meaning: firey one, spirited. But then that makes me wonder: am I insane? Though, I think from all the gymnastics going on inside that he is firey no matter what I name him. 

5. My hubby's name. I try to keep his privacy on it, but let's just say that before I even met him I already loved the name. And now? I love it even more. Sigh. I don't think we're going to go with a Jr. though. 

Pick your battles

I shouldn't be so harsh with my daughter. She is so sweet. Lately she gets so excited when she sees the kittens and she'll say, squeak rather, "they're so cute!" And it melts your heart. But she also wants whatever she wants RIGHT NOW and if you don't understand her than your torturing her and keeping the one thing she wants more than anything from her because you are evil and why would you be evil to an innocent little baby? Whining finds that place on my spine and rattles it and lately it's either: happy go lucky kid or whining little monster. Not much in between. I think it would help if there was at least some ramp up. But no, she hits total meltdown in .067 seconds and I'm left looking stupid in a grocery store or some other fun place.
The other day she hit melt down and so then I hit melt down and I started screaming at her to chill out, when it occurred to me that she's still learning all of this stuff, and what was my excuse? Hormones of course, but still.
I have found that if I can figure out what she wants, which is harder when her interpreter (daddy) isn't around, but the more she uses her babble words the more they start to sound like actual ones and the less time I'm standing there guessing the more time I have to scramble and get what she wants. Unless it's an item that we have to fight over, and as the saying has been used very frequently in our house lately: pick your battles.

Turning off the Tube. And the internet.

Ok, this might not be my most popular post and feel free to send a hate comment, I'll probably just delete it because I have that power mwhahaha. But am I the only one sick of Michael Jackson all the time? Yes, the guy was a great artist, but as a mom, I'm sorry. I can't get past how he treated little kids. It's gross. And wrong. And guess what? Anyone who hurts kids and has inappropriate relationships with them should be punished. Just because you are super rich doesn't mean you shouldn't face a judge and actually be punished for a crime. Do I like his music? Sure, I mean, he was incredible. But did I like the way he lived his life? Heck no. And to be honest, I don't think that someone is talented means we should just look the other way when they commit felonies. I personally can't. Children can be scarred forever and who is the voice for them? Not their crappy parents. They just want a paycheck from the lawsuit. I just want me TV back. But then again, I'm not sure why. Next month the next news story will be splashed all over it. Still, this past few weeks has been surreal. I mean, there's nothing quite like seeing a split screen on CNN with the Thriller video playing on one side and an aerial shot of a hospital on the other. This is a crazy, tv-fied world we live in, isn't it?

Done, done. Car!

We had a blast on the fourth, though it was ridiculously hot. It was like brain-melting hot. I think I might have sat in one spot for like forty minutes and not had a single thought. That was nice. After the baseball game this guy played a really long concert. We had no idea who he was but were a little annoyed at having to be held captive and listen to him just to see some fireworks. Luckily for us another venue across the street was having some and started about twenty minutes earlier. Those seemed to be the perfect distance, we could see them clearly but could hardly hear them. The ones we were there to see, not so much. Let's just say chips of the wooden parts of the fireworks were landing on us. As fun as it was for me, I just love being that close and it almost seems worth it to have burning firework bits raining down on you, my two year old was not as convinced. After a few minutes she went scrambling to daddy's arms and then started saying: done, done.... car! Poor thing. I can only hope that baby boy likes fireworks because this is the third year in a row she has not been too fond of them. Though, granted the first year she was only a few months old so that was understandable. 

Learning to let go

I think I sometimes have a hard time letting others bless me, or just even stepping aside to let someone else do it. The bigger I get the easier it is getting to do that, let people help me. Recently I was walking past this yoga group in the park and I was carrying a bunch of stuff and at first I was grumbling to myself that none of them were jumping up to help me but then when one did I started grumbling to myself about how was I going to repay her. It's like I still have to rationalize accepting help from others in my head. Or make it even again somehow. Why do we do that? Maybe I should not assume other people do, but a friend of our has had health issues and we help out occasionally by watching their kids. She suggested that they watch Kaiya for us, and I thought well, that makes sense. She wants to balance it out. Maybe it's just me that thinks that way, I don't know.
The thing is maybe it's not supposed to be balanced. I like it to be so then I don't feel indebted to people but I'm not so sure that's the way God has designed things. I mean, who can give what He gave? And yet, I don't quite feel that whole out of whack thing with him. I guess because well, he's God. But I wonder sometimes if all this is about us learning how to be loved and love back. To just fall into arms bigger than us.
And maybe this is just my roundabout way of saying thank you to those who have blessed us recently. It was like being wrapped in the arms of God.