So I’ve been working on a project lately. It’s called the ‘I am not going to talk about my kid for a full five minutes’ project. Topics, anyone? How about snails. I hate stepping on them. I say this because in one day alone I stepped on like five. I don’t know why. It was weird. The sickening crunch though was quite unnerving. It was this weird bone-rattling sort of sound that you could feel in your teeth. Anyone? No. ok then. So my kid is just so darn cute I can’t help but write about her. And everyone gets squishy babies with big rosy cheeks. Squished snails with a crunch and I lose half my audience. Which would mean I’d have .5 people reading. And half a person is about as gross as a squished crunchy snail.