Monday, January 26, 2009

Hanibella Lecter

I might rename Kaiya. She has been doing this freaky flicking tongue thing, just like her proposed new namesake did. It started when she was nursing one day. To say it was a little unnerving is an understatement. I was seriously freaked out. Since then she’s been doing it more and more. And daddio doesn’t help one bit because he thinks it’s hilarious and encourages her more. I call it the tongue flick thing when I’m in a good mood. When I’m in not such a good mood I shriek like a little school girl and tell her my firmest ‘no!’ Of course then she looks at me all sad-like and it makes me feel bad. After all, she’s just being cute. It leads to a question though, should we ‘freely parent’ as in let her do what she wants most of the time as long as it’s not dangerous to her or anyone else or should we channel some of her creative energy into more ‘normal’ outpourings?
Is the freaky tongue thing really that big a of deal? Or is it my social norm radar screaming out: stop! You have to teach her to fit in so they won’t tease her and maybe, just maybe she’ll have a more normal childhood. Of course I want her to be free to be herself, but that is easy to say than it actually is to do. I mean, when she wants to be all tatted up and have piercings everywhere will I really be ok with that? What choice do I have of course. I’m starting to realize this whole control issue really is harder than I thought it would be. I always thought I would be one of those ‘live and let live’ sort of parents but then I started noticing horrendously bratty kids who would talk back to any and every adult and my little mini version of my mother inside of me about had a conniption fit. She’s been known to smack kids who aren’t even her own. Back in her day though, you could and did, nowadays I think you’d get sued. So how do you find safe ways to live and let live? And how on earth do you learn to pick your battles?

5 comments:

  1. I've got something for you on my blog.

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  2. Well, I wish I had an answer for you. My girls are 7 & 4 and the lines of control vs allowing them to be their own person just gets blurrier and blurrier. I imagine it will only get worse! I am sure your daughter is doing the tongue flick because it is a new trick and will soon stop if you ignore it. If you react to it, she might keep doing it just to get a rise out of you. But then again, what do I know?! Good luck!

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  3. Thanks Fae!
    And that's probably great advice Gibby. I always fall prey to the giving them extra attention especially when she falls down I have to restrain myself not to spazz out if I think she's hurt.

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  4. I remember when my oldest was about 3, he started squinching his nose up every so often and doing this snorty laugh thing. I thought it was funny/cute, but my husband was horrified! "Why is he *doing* that?!??!" he would say. But it was just a little phase and it passed. (I took a few pictures so we could laugh about it later. Now he looks at them and can finally see the cuteness.)

    Good luck with it, Court! ;) - MM

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  5. Thanks mm for the advice and encouragement!

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