Sunday, February 8, 2009

Won't you get me a glass of water?

So Hubby is better at serving than I think I am. I think it stems from him serving me in the way I want to be served rather than in the way he wants to be served. I often try to do things for him but have a hard time stepping outside of myself to see what he would actually want and not just give him what I think he wants (which, conveniently enough for me- is usually what I want… er… I’m working on this y’all.) I don’t think I ever realized just how incredibly selfish I can be until I got married. Maybe it’s because it’s the one sort of relationship that is just everywhere, you know? It’s not like you can really compartmentalize it because it goes in just about every blasted little box. I remember years ago hearing the lead singer for Waterdeep talk about how he was learning how selfish he truly was now that he was married and I thought: nah, it'll be like it is in the movies. Cue the violins and chock full of flowers. The truth is though, as hard as it is, I truly do love him more each day. Because the more I know him the more I love him truly, as he actually is rather than my image of him. I don't know if I'm making any sense or not but what with Valentine's day coming up I've been overloading on the chick flicks (research, I say) and pondering relationships in general. Here's the thing I wonder: how come we are so focused on romantic relationships? I mean I absolutely love it when a story-line focuses on platonic friends more than romantic tension. Of course ring ring, kettle this is pot and you are might black my friend. I focus on the romantic stuff probably an inordinate amount of time, and if you think about it that really just is a small part of the marriage relationship anyway. Alas, I digress into rambles. All this to say, the point I started out with, I think my husband's way of serving me truly strikes at the heart of learning to love others well. Loving them in the way they want to be loved rather than I want to be loved is the crux. Maybe it's a project I'll work on in the next decade and by the time I'm forty I can move onto something more advanced, eh?


  1. I think you two will be married forever :) Good for you!!

  2. I love chick flicks. But I with they would make a movie about what happens AFTER the falling in love blur and hustle and bustle. Especially a movie that wasn't depressing. Movies always find couples falling for each other or falling apart. I would love to see the little things of love, the getting glasses of water, nudging your spouse while he plays games on the computer with a plate of cookies, or just laughing on the couch together.
    And you love him in your own special way, you know! Keep up the love.

  3. Thanks S & K!
    E: Have you seen Trust the Man? I know I'm a ridiculous David Duchovny fan and it's almost as bad as my Kevin Costner obsession but it actually is a good movie and a bit about the stuff in the middle. (Of course they throw some drama in there. I think it boils down to writers not really understanding drama and that they can play it soft and still have a powerful story. We should write one. Yeah- any excuse to come see you!)

  4. hahaha We could write a great one, too. Something from the inside of two marriages from the point of view of two best friends. It could be wonderful. And COME VISIT ME ALREADY!! The beaches are slowly falling into the ocean, you know...


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