Monday, July 13, 2009

The whole story

I'm still working on the over-protective thing. This little kid bowled over Kaiya on the way up the ladder at the pool and before I could even stop myself I was growling at him to "stop, she's a baby!" Of course she's not a baby. And he was only like five. I was actually more annoyed at his parents since he had been bobbing beside us and kept bugging me, desperate for attention, and they were on the other side of the pool gabbing with friends for an hour. I mean, I get hanging out with friends but when you're there with little ones, who don't swim that well, stop being selfish and shut up already. Or talk to your kid for a change. Of course now I'm doing what I was hoping everyone else wasn't, which was judging me. I find that the heat does not make me the most pleasant person in the world and the grueling walk over to the pool tends to drain me. I do much better once we get in and I can cool off but by then I'm fuming at all the dirty looks getting shot my way. Here's the thing: we don't know the rest of the story. You see those other, judging mothers, don't know that on this day Kaiya had already been to the pool. And she had had a cupcake treat for being such a good helper and an ice cream treat just for the heck of it (ok, it was a bribe to get her to nap) and the one thing we've been working on is getting her to slow down a bit and listen so she doesn't run straight into things and get hurt. So when we get to the pool and she tears off, she gets fussed at. Which of course leads me to wonder. I don't know their story. Maybe it was long lost friends that they were desperate to catch up with. Maybe I should just assume they looked over and saw a pleasant (ha!) pregnant lady and a little girl and so they figured their kid was fine. Maybe they were just having a bad day too. And who knows, maybe the judging mothers have the best of intentions too? Maybe they are actually giving me looks of pity because they have been six months pregnant in July in Texas with a toddler in tow and they know the special torture that is. So here's to at least skimming the book before deciding if I like the ending or not.

7 comments:

  1. I find myself doing that too. I make a quick angry judgment and then try to back track and see from the other perspective. Life is weird.

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  2. I've had the same experience several times. Well, not at the pool, but other places. Parents just seem to unload their kids on to strangers. It totally disturbs me, plus I don't really feel like watching my own kid on top of a strangers kid. I totally hear where you're coming from. Thanks for the insight.

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  3. You're right. We just don't know. We don't know the whole story. So we shouldn't judge. And when we're being judged, we need to just shrug it off.

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  4. Don't worry! I do the same. I am overprotective ("helicopter mom") of my son when other parents virtually ignore their kiddos I end up "babysitting" them while we are at the park or zoo,etc. Sometimes I have even had kids ask me for a drink or snack if I am feeding my son! That's a little crazy but yes, it is good to see things on the other side and say, well maybe they were watching him while chatting or they needed a break. I never take a break--and sometimes I should be more relaxed in public--maybe then I would have more friends! :) Hugs!
    tina

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  5. Six months pregnant in the southern summer? You can do no wrong, sweetie, as far as I'm concerned.

    ps: Love the new header!

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  6. You're getting a special place in heaven for enduring a hot summer while pregnant!

    And I'd say that's a good lesson to take to heart. I'll work at it myself today at the pool :)

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  7. Good for you trying not to judge the judgers. It's hard sometimes. I should work on that: thinking of what they may be going through or what may be happening.

    But sometimes? Sometimes parents really, really, do need to pay closer attention to their kid. I've had kids push Alex again and again just because...and the parent not say ANYTHING.

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