Where does that come from? Am I the only one? I was glad when I told a friend to read up on it and she did and then thanked me later when she did have one. I wish we could all just band together and be like: you know what? This is great. I'm alive. My kid is alive. That's all that matters. So what if I don't get into the I-squirted-a-kid-out-my-hoohoo club award, we should get a I-survived-a-C-section award. And as a child who came by way of Cesarean I should be proud. I hope I can stand up for myself more and say: Yup, Sept 28th, kid's got the eviction notice on the womb and we're kicking him out!
Sunday, September 6, 2009
there should be a trophy for C-sections.
Recently Allison did a great post (click here) where she totally rocked and bared her soul which made me all brave and stuff for five minutes and think that I could post this. The truth is I am my worst enemy with this issue, and in all honesty there are no 'enemies' just people who could stand to um, back off a bit? Er? Learn to not be so nosey or rude? I'm so huge now everyone asks: when are you due? Which leads me to a predicament. Do I tell them, Oct. 4th (when I was due?) or do I tell them Sept. 28th (when I'm having a scheduled c-section?) I usually just say Sept 28th and leave it at that. The first few times I got into these awkward conversations as I would say: I'm having a c-section on Sept 28th. I say awkward because just about everyone then asked Oh, why? PEOPLE. That is rude. I'm sorry but it is. But even worse, was the way they asked. Some people it was genuine curiosity, others it was nothing but judgement. Like they got this cruel look and snorted, as if I am this selfish workaholic who wants everything on a dayplanner. Which, by the way, guess what..... SO?!!??? Why do we judge each other so much? But no. Sadly. I wish to God I could have a child naturally. I really, really do. But I feel very, very strongly that the baby comes first. And that point, I frankly don't care about offending anyone on. If you are so stuck on the idea of having natural child birth that you would possibly endanger your child then shame on you. And grow up. C-sections are needed for a number of reasons. Yes, needed. This misconception that people are just getting them willy nilly, honestly? Where does that come from? If you haven't been there, then shut up. What really drives me nuts it people act like it's a bad thing. Like something is wrong with you. Like you are less of a woman because of the way you were designed, by God, and you can't do the good ol' fashioned heave ho. You know how frustrating it was to be in labor for ten hours hoping to get started and never able to? The one thing I tell pregnant people is to read up on c-sections. When someone close to me shared about their frustrations with having to have one it totally helped when it came time for me. I felt like, ok, I'm not alone. This is ok. But I was scared witless because they stretch your arms out like Jesus on the cross and it's all just bizarre, especially if you've never had any kind of surgery thing before. So read up, it couldn't hurt to be prepared. I had a friend who was absolutely determined to have natural and when I told her to just read about it she scoffed at the idea. Can you see where this is going? Yup. She had one. I am still a little miffed too when I told her I was scheduling my second because she was like: why can't you do a vbac? And I was all: um, hello, nothing has changed about me... it wasn't like the baby was breached or something it was that I'm all too small and stuff. But see, here's the thing that gets me still, I feel this need to justify it. I wish I was confident enough to say: yup. C-section baby! Rock on! Like my doctor. When I was pregnant with Kaiya she was pregnant too and we were due about the same time. But her baby developed this rare heart condition and they decided to do the first ever open heart surgery in the womb (how cool is that? the kid is super healthy now too!) so she had to have one. She was so proud. But of course there was this: she had had one naturally. She kept telling me, up until she had to let another doctor take over with me, that it was better and I shouldn't worry if I had to have one. I wish I would have listened more but I kept feeling like: well, you have the badge, so easy for you to say.