Friday Hi-Five

For all my grumbling and worrying this week I am going to force myself to be positive about being pregnant. So: my five favorite things about being huge. I mean preggo.

1. Ok, so I really do like the big round belly. Only in the right light and in optimal conditions, but there is something just like really sort of beautiful about it. And natural, in this weird sort of way. I mean it is strange seeing a part of you so enlarged but to me it just makes sense too.

2. The little cuddly, snuggly feelings inside. Or as Bobeesah writes about here "inner baby wiggles." She does it much more justice so just go there and read her post.

3. The royal status. It was probably more fun the first time, being let into the whole you're almost a mom and sooo much a woman club. It surprised me though how sweet people could be. When they weren't saying stupid things like can I touch you or 'having twins, eh?'

4. My free ticket to crash anyone's lunch date/party. People at work actually use me for this, they'll stop by because another office is having a luncheon and so they grab me and shove me through the door. Because, seriously? Who is going to tell a pregnant woman they can't have food?

5. That I get to spend nine months, ok really eight because it's not like you truly know right away, getting to know this little person. I swear some of their personality comes out in the womb.

Monkey Madness

I love all the new things she can do really. But now that we are in the monkey stage I'm not so sure anymore. By monkey stage I mean, just total, utter, chaos. I have a feeling many more black eyes are a-coming.

Exhibit A: She can now take off her diaper. She loves to do this most when she has a poopy in it. Especially a disgusting, messy, green one. She tries to wipe herself. Usually getting said green poop all over everywhere but on the wipe. Let's just say potty training has been a two step forward, four steps back sort of progress lately.

Exhibit B: She has discovered the power of climbing, ok, she discovered it a while ago, but now she is putting it to some serious use. Nothing like when you swing your little leg up over your head and hoist your tiny butt up to some place you so should not be. And here I was smugly thinking that only boy toddlers did this. Thus far I have only found her in the play pen, and the freezer. If you are thinking the play pen is not an unusual place at all, lady, well we keep ours full of toys and it's four feet off the ground.

There's this sense that we got to somehow get it all together and sort out her toys so the little tiny pieces aren't left out when baby gets here. And while I'm glad he'll be immobile for a bit I have a feeling like most children who aren't first born he's going to be clamoring after big sis as fast as he possibly can.

Is it really going to get even crazier?

This no sleep thing....

Remind me again why it is that just before you're about to have this screaming little thing with you all night long and will be wan for sleep that you can't sleep anyway the last few months of pregnancy? I'm at the I'm-too-huge-to-breathe stage. No. There will be no pictures. I don't have one of those cute little rounded bellies. I have one of those grotesque what the heck is that??? bellies and there will be no documentation of it so help me. There is only one I think of the last bellisode that my friend snagged when I wasn't looking. And she wonders why I don't talk to her? So it is that I get up around three or four in the morning to pee and some nights I can't get back to sleep because the task of rolling over takes so much energy my mind is racing by the time I'm a fourth of the way there. I start worrying about getting a baby mattress (because I read somewhere that a good source of SIDS might actually be old used mattresses, and since SIDS is just creepy enough to totally freak me out and we will need one anyway since Kaiya is thoroughly attached to her toddler bed and not ready for the big bed yet so it just makes sense.) I digress. Where was I? Oh yes. You see, it's 4:11am my friend. It started with the usual pee break. Then there was this horrendous kicking. Then my imagination went wild: what if he actually broke a rib? Like what if the rib was sticking out and they had to do surgery (because when you watch Grey's Anatomy, well that is the answer to everything.) And then my doctor put me on bed-rest. Would I be able to work from home? Heavens if I couldn't and I had to take some unpaid leave should we just file for bankruptcy and put on rags and go beg at the corner?? And would I insist that Kaiya at least be in pink rags? Well... I am going to pop three more tums and try to go to sleep. Hoping little vampire baby boy doesn't break some ribs. Or that the two glasses of juice I just chugged because I'm stupid actually stay down for an hour or two. I need this cuddly little baby out of me people.

Bo Bo Kaiya

Kaiya and I were having our usual mommy-daughter time. We operate under the principal that the parent who works (me) has to have very purposeful time with the kid. It's not just for her sake either, I actually ache for her sometimes. I have a feeling guys probably feel the same way deep down they just grunt and scratch more to express it. Anyway. It of course is also to give the stay at home parent a much needed break. So when we went on a trip to the new library, because I hadn't been yet and I wanted to see what all the fuss was about, I had in mind about how long it would take to give hubs the needed break time and me and the little gal the needed alone girly time. I pulled up and saw signs in the front that weren't handicapped. Now, you never quite know what you're gonna get. One of our grocery store chains actually has some "expectant mom" spots. I just love those. They make me feel all proud. Though I would only park in them when I was huge, because I didn't want the dirty looks. More common now are the "parent with kid(s)" spots. Sometimes we'll all go and I'll wait in the car while he takes her in and I glare at the young yuppies who dare to park there in their sports cars without said kid. But oh no, my friend, I don't even know if you can guess what this spot said: "hybrid cars."

A great big huge: WAHUH? And my first thought was: this is that kind of library. Alas, I'll have to post about the green library adventure another day because there were two chatterbox kids that squawked as soon as I opened the door "it's closed!" Across the street from the library is a fish store. Every now and then I get touched with the spontaneous. In we went. We had been before and Kaiya remembered it but she was a little older now and able to appreciate it. She also understands the concept of a store and was thoroughly expecting to get a fish. I started debating it in my mind, after all we are trying to cramp down now and save, save, save, but they had one for only five bucks. And the thing could swim in a regular bowel without frills so, even better. So when I came through the door and Kaiya went running to tell daddy "got fish!" he was more than a little surprised. I think mainly because I'm not the one who normally goes out and just buys stuff. We set up the fish in an old fish bowel we had with some pretty pebbles left over from wedding decorations and then all sat down to admire it. We turned to Kaiya and asked her what we were going to name it. She looked perplexed at first, like "duh, you idiots, you name stuff, not me" but then grinned and said Kaiya! We thought about it for a second but decided it would be too hard on the fish to always be yelled at so I pulled the first thing I could think of out of my huge pregnant bottom and asked her: "bo bo?" She immediately nodded and said "BO BO!" Thus, the fish is named. It's full name is Bo Bo Kaiya, or Kaiya Bo Bo- depending on who you talk to- in case you are curious.

Friday Hi-Five

In honor of my current favorite show, the Bachelorette, yes, I still am enamored with that atrocious show, my five favorite places I'd like to go. (Hubby doesn't believe me that I watch the show to see all the pretty locations they go to and not the boys, but I really do feel like I get to go to all these cool places... ok, and the cute boys are a nice bonus...)

1. Ireland. Something about all the green, and the rolling hills. Ah...

2. Australia. I have a feeling I wouldn't actually like this as much as I think I would, but Sydney sure seems cool.

3. Hawaii. I would have to go see a volcano. I mean, how cool is that?

4. New York City. I think it's just one of those things you have to do at some point in your life.

5. Antarctica. With the caveat that if only it were possible to somehow be in this magic heated bubble thing the whole time so I didn't have to experience the cold. Oh wait, I'm already in a magic heated bubble, it's called pregnant.

Sigh, another first.

So purple eye shadow is out for my daughter. I mean, it's just not her color. How do I know? Not because I was brave enough to try letting her wear make-up, I mean I could just hear the screams now when it got into her eyes... but because my little baby girl got her first black eye.

The worst part was the helpless feeling I had as I watched her, running full tilt, catapult herself into my mother-in-law's coffee table. I think she got tripped up on the carpet, after all, we don't have carpet. We have hard wood floors and that 70s stuff that once passed for carpet. She landed on the corner with the corner of her eye. At first I was really worried because I thought she had nailed her temple. I once heard that if you get hit really hard in the temple you die. I'm not sure that's true. At least, no more so than any other part of your head, but it sort of stuck with me. Like this silly worry I can't shake. She was standing there crying, the wounded eye away from me at first so I couldn't see how bad it was until hubby came in and scooped her up and turned her towards me. There was already this little ping-pong sized knot on the side of eye. Luckily it went down some after we put ice on it but then over the next few days this purple bruise spread across half her eyelid. Hubby had to make awkward comments about how he doesn't hit his kid. If you know him in real life you're probably nodding going, 'of course he did.' I keep wanting to kiss it and make it go away but she doesn't seem to even remember it or care one whit. It could have been worse, like right before a big family picture time, so at least there are small blessings, eh?

Stack it, pack it and ship it.

I think my kid has a future in some kind of factory or mailing center. She is into this orderly phase. Today she pushed a row of strollers and carts out on the sidewalk. I love the determined look she gets on her face as she sets about a task. She'll line all her cars up in a row. Everything is like that, in rows or little boxes. I guess it makes sense to an anal person. I know she doesn't get it from me. I'm more chaos and splash. So, hmm... I wonder where she gets it from? Who could have, maybe, organized all their comic books like this:

Did you guess her daddy?

The computer never lies.

Hubby set up the computer to do this new thing where it has a screen of all the sites we regularly go to, in the order we go to them. Guess which site was first? Um. Yeah. Mine. I was seriously hoping it was his Gmail site. I may try to sabotage it now and just click on it before each time I open mine. What? Is that wrong? In all fairness to me I sometimes just glance at it or skim over some of my favorite blogs in about five minutes. Seriously. I try to have one day where I really take my time and get to enjoy reading and writing and then a few other days where I just spend a few minutes for maintenance. Of course sometimes I get sucked in to your worlds and the few minutes grows.... but that's hardly my fault right? Stop being so interesting. Please.

Friday Hi-Five

My five favorite hats that Kaiya has come up with lately:

1. Her slinky. While it may have not been the cutest one, it was very ingenious I thought they way she bent it around her little head and then squealed hat!!

2. Daddy's hats. This one she gets some help on, because sometimes when we can't find one of hers we make one of ours small so she can wear it. It is the cutest thing though to me when she wears one of his.

3. Play doh. Ok, this one wasn't all that thrilled with having to clean up but it sure was cute and her giggle made it worth it.

4. A kitty. I of course was scrambling to get it off her before it clawed out her eyes. They are remarkably tolerant of her considering they are now about the same age as her and you think they wouldn't put up with it as much.

5. My underwear. Ah, the classic thing that it seems all children do at some point. Luckily she picked a clean pair. I saw a funny picture that was making fun of the priceless pictures and it said: 'not telling your cousin that his underwear hat has a brown streak on it: priceless' I about peed.

Mama Bear with an Uzi

Don't you just love pregnant dreams? I had one where I was pushing Kaiya, and then the new one too, and then back to just her and then these terrorists stole the new one. So I grabbed an uzi and I chased after them. Of course, what would I do? I mean if I shot at them I could hit baby, right? It didn't quite make sense. And then I had a dream I had a baby with no eyes. That one has been haunting me. I think because we had some sweet people at our church that actually had that in real life, it was a birth defect of some kind. I guess it's just the normal pregnant jitters trying to work themselves out in my psyche. I read in wondertime that when we have bad dreams we think they are awful, but they are actually like medicine for us. I guess that makes sense. I mean, most medicine stinks going down but later you do feel better and it's the same way when you have a dream that makes you face what you're fearing. Of course things can go wrong with the baby, but that's where prayer and hope come in and there's not much I can do about it from this side of things other than just keep popping those vitamins and eating as healthy as I can. (Aaah... but that mint brownie and peanut butter ice cream sundae with hot fudge I had last night was so delightful!)

A really stinking funny email

My sister in law sends me these funny emails from time to time. And seriously? I peed my pants when it go to Aug. 8th's entry. Hubby's face turned purple on Aug. 9th's entry and he had to stop reading it aloud.

Dear Diary,

Just moved to Texas ! Now this is a state that knows how to
live!!

Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place!
It is beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

June 14th:

Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car.

What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm
turning into a sun worshipper.

June 30th:

Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots
of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing
the lawn for me.

Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th:

The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do
people get used to this kind of heat?

At least, it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the
heat is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th:

Fell asleep by the community pool. (Got 3rd degree burns
over 60% of my body). Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do.

I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a
climate like this.

July 20th:

I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left
this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita
had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag, then
popped like a water balloon.

I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.

Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes again.

July 25th:

The wind sucks. It feels like a giant blow dryer!!

And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the
fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell
me he needed to order parts.

July 30th:

Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now,
$225,000 house and I can't even go inside. Lomita is the lucky one.
Why did I ever come here?

Aug. 4th:

It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today.
It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate
this stupid state.

Aug. 8th:

If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm
going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work,
the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I
smell like baked cat!!

Aug. 9th:

Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I
sat on the seats in the car, my ass caught fire.

My skin melted to the seat. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all
the hair on the back of my legs. . . Now my car smells
like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.

Aug 10th:

I’m convinced now that the weather report is a damn recording. Hot
and sunny.

Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do Shit
for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up
next week.

Doesn't it ever rain in this damn state? Water rationing
will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over.

Even the cactus can't live in this damn heat.

Aug. 14th:

Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115 today. Cactus are dead.

Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn windshield out
of the car. The installer came to fix it and guess what he
asked me??? "Hot enough for you today?"

My sister had to spend $1,500 to bail me out of jail.
Freaking Texas .

What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here??

Will write later to let you know how the trial goe

The whole story

I'm still working on the over-protective thing. This little kid bowled over Kaiya on the way up the ladder at the pool and before I could even stop myself I was growling at him to "stop, she's a baby!" Of course she's not a baby. And he was only like five. I was actually more annoyed at his parents since he had been bobbing beside us and kept bugging me, desperate for attention, and they were on the other side of the pool gabbing with friends for an hour. I mean, I get hanging out with friends but when you're there with little ones, who don't swim that well, stop being selfish and shut up already. Or talk to your kid for a change. Of course now I'm doing what I was hoping everyone else wasn't, which was judging me. I find that the heat does not make me the most pleasant person in the world and the grueling walk over to the pool tends to drain me. I do much better once we get in and I can cool off but by then I'm fuming at all the dirty looks getting shot my way. Here's the thing: we don't know the rest of the story. You see those other, judging mothers, don't know that on this day Kaiya had already been to the pool. And she had had a cupcake treat for being such a good helper and an ice cream treat just for the heck of it (ok, it was a bribe to get her to nap) and the one thing we've been working on is getting her to slow down a bit and listen so she doesn't run straight into things and get hurt. So when we get to the pool and she tears off, she gets fussed at. Which of course leads me to wonder. I don't know their story. Maybe it was long lost friends that they were desperate to catch up with. Maybe I should just assume they looked over and saw a pleasant (ha!) pregnant lady and a little girl and so they figured their kid was fine. Maybe they were just having a bad day too. And who knows, maybe the judging mothers have the best of intentions too? Maybe they are actually giving me looks of pity because they have been six months pregnant in July in Texas with a toddler in tow and they know the special torture that is. So here's to at least skimming the book before deciding if I like the ending or not.

Mango Soap.

Me- These antacids taste like soap. 

Hubby- Well that makes sense. I mean, it's tropical flavors....

Me- Huh?

Hubby- You know, mango, pineapple and soap. 

Me- Oh. Right.

The up side of HOT

So the other day I was at the pool chatting with a neighborhood mom. I was lamenting having to be really really huge in August when she remarked that at least it wouldn't still be super hot when the baby was here. It stopped me because she was totally right. By the time he is here and I'm ready to get out of the house it will actually be perfect weather as opposed to when we were ready to romp around with Kaiya and it was just starting to get hot. So, while I still don't think this would have been my first choice for a due date at least there is an upside. Plus I like that we will totally have a reason to be very low key for Thanksgiving. Yeah! Always a bonus. So here is to the seeing the upside of whatever is disappointing you lately!

Friday Hi-Five

So baby boy name is still up in the air. Here it goes: my five favorite baby boy names.

1. Zeekthanial. No seriously. I made that one up. Don't worry. I'm not going to name my kid that. (And my sister is probably saying "thank God.") I heard the name Zeek once and thought it was so cool, but to short so I attached the ending. 

2. Caedan. I do love this name and up until a week ago it was a front-runner but unfortunately it means "round one." I mean, I can't give the kid a complex can I? I'm trying to tell myself they mean, like a rounded person, with good qualities, etc. 

3. Chance. I have always loved this name, but I'm not sure if I can get over a really annoying person I recently interacted with by the same name. Hubby never understands how I can let one person ruin it, but then he had some ex-girlfriend names that were on the no no list for Kaiya so he can't really talk.

4. Keagan. I do love this name. It has been the front runner but I want a C name this time. Someone suggested just spelling it with a C which may work. I love the meaning: firey one, spirited. But then that makes me wonder: am I insane? Though, I think from all the gymnastics going on inside that he is firey no matter what I name him. 

5. My hubby's name. I try to keep his privacy on it, but let's just say that before I even met him I already loved the name. And now? I love it even more. Sigh. I don't think we're going to go with a Jr. though. 

Pick your battles

I shouldn't be so harsh with my daughter. She is so sweet. Lately she gets so excited when she sees the kittens and she'll say, squeak rather, "they're so cute!" And it melts your heart. But she also wants whatever she wants RIGHT NOW and if you don't understand her than your torturing her and keeping the one thing she wants more than anything from her because you are evil and why would you be evil to an innocent little baby? Whining finds that place on my spine and rattles it and lately it's either: happy go lucky kid or whining little monster. Not much in between. I think it would help if there was at least some ramp up. But no, she hits total meltdown in .067 seconds and I'm left looking stupid in a grocery store or some other fun place.
The other day she hit melt down and so then I hit melt down and I started screaming at her to chill out, when it occurred to me that she's still learning all of this stuff, and what was my excuse? Hormones of course, but still.
I have found that if I can figure out what she wants, which is harder when her interpreter (daddy) isn't around, but the more she uses her babble words the more they start to sound like actual ones and the less time I'm standing there guessing the more time I have to scramble and get what she wants. Unless it's an item that we have to fight over, and as the saying has been used very frequently in our house lately: pick your battles.

Turning off the Tube. And the internet.

Ok, this might not be my most popular post and feel free to send a hate comment, I'll probably just delete it because I have that power mwhahaha. But am I the only one sick of Michael Jackson all the time? Yes, the guy was a great artist, but as a mom, I'm sorry. I can't get past how he treated little kids. It's gross. And wrong. And guess what? Anyone who hurts kids and has inappropriate relationships with them should be punished. Just because you are super rich doesn't mean you shouldn't face a judge and actually be punished for a crime. Do I like his music? Sure, I mean, he was incredible. But did I like the way he lived his life? Heck no. And to be honest, I don't think that someone is talented means we should just look the other way when they commit felonies. I personally can't. Children can be scarred forever and who is the voice for them? Not their crappy parents. They just want a paycheck from the lawsuit. I just want me TV back. But then again, I'm not sure why. Next month the next news story will be splashed all over it. Still, this past few weeks has been surreal. I mean, there's nothing quite like seeing a split screen on CNN with the Thriller video playing on one side and an aerial shot of a hospital on the other. This is a crazy, tv-fied world we live in, isn't it?

Done, done. Car!

We had a blast on the fourth, though it was ridiculously hot. It was like brain-melting hot. I think I might have sat in one spot for like forty minutes and not had a single thought. That was nice. After the baseball game this guy played a really long concert. We had no idea who he was but were a little annoyed at having to be held captive and listen to him just to see some fireworks. Luckily for us another venue across the street was having some and started about twenty minutes earlier. Those seemed to be the perfect distance, we could see them clearly but could hardly hear them. The ones we were there to see, not so much. Let's just say chips of the wooden parts of the fireworks were landing on us. As fun as it was for me, I just love being that close and it almost seems worth it to have burning firework bits raining down on you, my two year old was not as convinced. After a few minutes she went scrambling to daddy's arms and then started saying: done, done.... car! Poor thing. I can only hope that baby boy likes fireworks because this is the third year in a row she has not been too fond of them. Though, granted the first year she was only a few months old so that was understandable. 

Learning to let go

I think I sometimes have a hard time letting others bless me, or just even stepping aside to let someone else do it. The bigger I get the easier it is getting to do that, let people help me. Recently I was walking past this yoga group in the park and I was carrying a bunch of stuff and at first I was grumbling to myself that none of them were jumping up to help me but then when one did I started grumbling to myself about how was I going to repay her. It's like I still have to rationalize accepting help from others in my head. Or make it even again somehow. Why do we do that? Maybe I should not assume other people do, but a friend of our has had health issues and we help out occasionally by watching their kids. She suggested that they watch Kaiya for us, and I thought well, that makes sense. She wants to balance it out. Maybe it's just me that thinks that way, I don't know.
The thing is maybe it's not supposed to be balanced. I like it to be so then I don't feel indebted to people but I'm not so sure that's the way God has designed things. I mean, who can give what He gave? And yet, I don't quite feel that whole out of whack thing with him. I guess because well, he's God. But I wonder sometimes if all this is about us learning how to be loved and love back. To just fall into arms bigger than us.
And maybe this is just my roundabout way of saying thank you to those who have blessed us recently. It was like being wrapped in the arms of God.

Happy Fourth Everyone!

I hope you have a fabulous holiday!! We are going to see my wonderful family and have a blast... albeit in spite of the seriously hot weather. I just love fireworks, don't you? What are your plans for the fourth?

Friday Hi-Five

I just love Kaiya's high-chair. I got it at a baby-shower from some sweet friends and we seem to keep finding new uses for it so: my five favorite things to have Kaiya do in the high-chair!

1. Play with Play-Doh! Yeah! Nothing like keeping the mess contained and this way we can give her all her cookie cutters, play-doh scissors and spaghetti-maker thingy.

2. Do art. I love to do art with her but it is nice to have the mess contained again and I can easily pull up a chair and paint along with her on the other side of her tray. I especially love how determined she gets once she gets into it and furiously attacks her canvas with a brush. I use the word canvas lightly. We use little paper plates turned upside down.

3. Eat of course. You thought I'd never say that one huh? We tend to make her sit in it now just for messy meals though it is nice even if she's just snacking to have her contained.

4. Strap her in. The contained part... ahhh... She rarely lets us do this anymore and since she's getting coordinated enough it's not a battle I fight every time but if I'm quick enough at it she doesn't quite realize she's strapped in until it's too late... mwha ha ha!

5. That she can climb up in it herself. This is no small thing now that I'm getting a little huger each second and it is getting harder and harder to bend over and pick her up. Our chair is easy to climb up in (for her) and it is so adorable watching her scramble up in it.

De-bullyfying mama

I wonder how I am going to survive my kid going to school. What brought this line of thought on was seeing my daughter's scratched up legs. You see, the new kittens have these brand new razor sharp claws and my daughter loves the new kittens. So the inevitable result of two hyper little kittens and one hyper little two year old is a lot of scratches. I felt instantly protective. I wanted to ring their little necks. But of course, they are innocent. It got me thinking though. How am I going to handle it when she gets pushed by a bully? I once heard about a woman who actually slapped a little kid who hit her child. She could have been thrown in jail but part of me was like: oh gee, that so could be me. I'm just hoping I learn to chill a little. Let my daughter fight her own battles. Or even realize what is a battle and what isn't. For example: she doesn't even seem to mind when the kitties scratch her. She loves them so dearly and keeps going back for more. 

Maybe I just need to watch Finding Nemo again.