Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Raising a son

When I first heard we were having a boy I was delighted. I had tried very hard not to hope too much for a boy because I wanted to love my second child with no reservation and if little CJ had happened to be a she instead of a he I wanted to just roll with it and be happy to have her. But still I was glad he was a he. It didn't occur to me though to be a bit daunted by the task of raising a man until CJ had been here for about four months or so. It was like one day I woke up and was all: eep! I have to raise a man! The boy stuff didn't bother me. I grew up with brothers. And even though I was probably pretty lucky in the two I got, in that they aren't that terribly gross as boys are concerned, they were still boys. Raising a boy seems easy. Besides being beside myself with worry that we will constantly be in the emergency room I think it will be quite a bit simpler in many ways. Raising a man though...
I think it seems a bit daunting because on one hand I want him to be tough and yet kind, fair and giving, sweet and strong. I'm not entirely sure I know how to show my daughter how to be those things, but trying to teach a child of the opposite gender. And whoever thinks that there really is no gender difference clearly isn't married. Boys and girls, or men and women, clearly are from opposite- far far away- planets. Of course therein lies the answer. I am lucky to have my love. When I don't understand the boy or what he needs that is when miss thing and I will take off for some girl time and let the boy have daddy time. Kaiya and CJ seem like opposites anyway, just in personality and behavior traits, and I have a feeling even if they had been the same gender it still would have been a huge learning curve to get to know a whole new person.

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Got any random bits of your own?