This Mother's Day I have the best gift of all: my mom is here still for more love. I know it was probably silly to be worried about her surgery but I almost couldn't help myself. I have had to stop watching that confounded Grey's Anatomy. It's always to be the minor surgeries that give them fits, just for a dramatic twist usually, but it's a different thing altogether when the 'character' you're seeing on the TV is your mom.
What this last year has taught me is that I still need my mom. It is sort of humbling to come to that realization. I think, geeze Court, you're 30 now, have two kids yourself and established in a career and yet that all goes out the window when I think of her.
I have this distinctive memory of running to find her when I was about 5 or so. I had skinned my knee or something and needed her. I remember leaning against her arm and feeling safe and satisfied. I was with my mom.
Kaiya does that too. There are times when Hubby calls me at work and she has fallen down or something and she is screaming in the background and he can't get her to calm down. Sometimes she just needs her mom. She'll come and find me and scramble up on my lap and just be there with me. I've learned that I often don't have to do much. Just hold her and tell her I love her. The power of mom is quite strong you see, it cures much.
I trust that when my mom does go home to Heaven I can rely on God to be there for me. (Though I'm praying this will be in like thirty years at least.) Until then, thank you very much, I will march off to find my mommy.
Happy Mother's day to all. And, I love you mom. Thanks for fighting this jerk named cancer and sticking around for us.