Remember the girl who whined about tornadoes destroying towns, disease destroying minds, accidents destroying bodies and trials almost destroying faith?
She is being pulled through.
It was not over, it seems. A new painful tragedy struck my little ball of Earth. I feel stretched. The difficult work of needling through occurs. It does not stop. I go to be encouraged by a friend and instead am utterly bewildered and wounded by what is happening to another dear one I love. More piercing.
I am powerless to help as my thread of life is pulled clear on another plane. I am in the dark part. They are in the dark part. Another friend experiences painful loss that is uncalled for. I sit with Kaiya and put marker to page to make a flimsy card. It is all I can manage. We. Are in the dark part.
Still, I hope. I hope in You. The good God who holds the needle to thread His masterpiece. A God who understands. Who had a dark part too, on a cruel cross where a deep piercing through happened for all of us. Just when it got the darkest, so dark that even God himself had to look away from Jesus it suddenly got gloriously bright. He ascended into Heaven! Whoosh! Right up into the clouds. The disciples stood staring for so long the angel had to come tell them: hey silly ninconpoops, stop staring at clouds He's coming back the same blasted way! As if: good grief. Go live your life sillies. You're mesmerized by sparklies but there's living to do.
I long for the glorious ending that Hollywood can't come close to! For you to cream all the bad guys! For Heavenly explosions!
I sound crazy.
Maybe I am. Crazy in love and hanging on. He weaves and I will stop wondering what on Earth He's weaving. So when yet another dark thread comes out of His sewing box and I grumble and sigh I will try to apologize and stand still. I will receive. I will wait hopefully for the whites, golds and sparkling silvers. I may convince myself this black is actually a deep purple. For who knows? Maybe some of the dark parts are the folds of His glorious robe. Maybe when the canvas is pulled back and we see the masterpiece of this mess of life we will see a picture of our Savior- Jesus Christ coming down from Heaven to rescue us.