Thursday, April 12, 2012

a different Easter

I've had my Easter weekend planned for a week. We had waited to see if my husband's family would have their usual gathering but when they didn't I started to get excited. Just a quiet little Easter at home with the four of us was sounding delightful.
Someone I know just died. Up and out of the blue. I won't go into to many details here, but it startled me. Death always does I guess. I had hoped, after five funerals last year, that it would be a year of life. Guess I was wrong. 
Saturday I had all these plans to get ready for our quiet little celebration day and I just floated around the house like a ghost. I jotted some thoughts down in the morning and then I curled into the cave of me and stayed there.
 Kaiya and I did go shopping for a dress for her and the Easter egg hunt stuff and lunch. It took like four hours. Partly because of the crowd and partly because I kept staring at different brands of cheese confused about why I needed cheese. 
Neglecting to get any of the dinner ready or even pick out my outfit I just went to bed and hoped the world would go away. Then morning came. Easter. It still gets me. Hope it always does. What a glorious day Easter is. 
Deciding to look like a girl for once and wear a dress I started ironing a green one to match the kids' outfits. Than I set to shaving which was going to be an ordeal as it's something I do about twice a year. Kaiya came in and asked if I was shaving to which I said yes. She thought for a second and then said: I'm not going to shave when I get older. I choked down the socially popular response of "everyone should shave" and realized it wasn't a hill to die on so I politely said "that sounds fine, lots of people don't shave." Nodding like it was decided for good she stomped off with her stuffed bunny in her arms. 
I then set to trimming my nails which were approaching Guinness Records' and the reason I had firmly kept my shoes on at the Maundy Thursday foot-washing service. After these long-neglected grooming things were done and I had finished ironing my dress it was already time to go. So I scrambled to get the dress on and then I saw it. A gigantic hole in the back. 
Sighing I simply threw it in the laundry pile and looked around. Lo and behold a cute little skirt and matching tank top were right there. I wondered vaguely what poor angel had the task of sorting through my clothing the night before to leave me a back up outfit and felt a bit of pity for him. (her? it?) 
Off we went and because it was a holiday I would get to worship before teaching Sunday school which was fantastic. Each song seemed to be a joy axe chipping away at the ice. People kept asking me how I was and being polite rather than morose I replied pleasantly that I was fine. Is it wrong to lie on Easter? I suppose so. 
A dear friend invited us over to their house for their Easter celebration. It was like an inner tube being thrown out to a weary swimmer in choppy waters. I launched myself onto it but of course we would have to go home first to get our stuff together. 
This is when I wish the Saturday had not been so slow and lazy. As I quickly chopped potatoes while making some mac and cheese. The kids were holed up in the bedroom watching "Hop" while my dear hid the eggs. That is always his job. He's good at it too, with the right amount of easy and slightly hard ones. Once our little egg hunt was ready I tried to pause for a moment to watch, and I  did for a bit, but duty called me away too soon. Luckily my husband had videotaped the entire ordeal so I watched it later to see the ending part I missed and I crooned at how giving and sweet my daughter is. She kept giving CJ eggs and when they were done his basket was overflowing while hers was just sort of medium. What a giving child. 
Then we scrambled in the car and when we arrived at my friend's house the eating was just beginning so we were right on time, despite me having to throw the potatoes in her oven to finish. They had also planned an egg hunt so I added ours (as I had unfilled Kaiya and CJ's already) and we all had a ball again this time with a few more kids. I trotted around behind CJ with another mom and we praised and cooed over him. I ate too much. I drank in love from ones I love. It was every kind of beautiful. 
There are times I try too hard to plan it all. Then there are times the Almighty steps in and changes it up. Here. Let me arrange this and fluff that. There we go. Much better. Enjoy that bit of eternity gold my dear child. Yes, Father. Thank you for your son and thank you for your love. 

thanks for it all...
-eternity gold
-sudden death
-new songs

with Ann over at a holy experience..


  1. oh the shaving part made me laugh - i know what you mean! glad you had a joyous easter...
    visiting from imperfect prose :)

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  3. so sorry for teh unexpectedness of this Easter. You made me laugh about the angel having to go through your closet. oh man. no angel would want to step foot {wing?} in mine :) but in the end, that you shared it in community...such a sweet, sweet ending to a stressful time.

  4. thanks, and i loved visiting your sweet site and what a wonderful post about loss. it was so poetic.

  5. "enjoy that bit of eternity gold my dear." oh, what a tender finish friend. i loved this. and i ache for your loss... it makes the hope of resurrection so much more imminent, doesn't it?

  6. So sorry for your unexpected loss. I lost my grandmother last year unexpectedly (she was healthy) and understand what you mean by the daze you go through. It seemed surreal to be carrying out normal activity with my kids while in the back of my mind was .. my grandma just died. Glad you were able to find some peace at a friend and in the Lord!

    1. Thanks friend. I think too many of us are painfully familiar with the daze.


Got any random bits of your own?