Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Wow. Brown stuff and everything.

I promise I'm not turning this into a Pinterest site but it is my newest obsession and now that I have rejoined the land of the living what better way to spend it then zombified looking at cutesy pictures made by people with waaaayyy too much time on their hands. (Or reading through auto correct fails. For two hours.)
So I got this crazy idea to try and make a really cute snowglobe that I saw on there. Now, I didn't quite have clear gelatin but I had strawberry banana and I figured that would be fine. I mean, worst that could happen is it would be slightly pink, right?
The instructions said to find a Christmas ornament that was cute. This was likely my second poor choice. I thought that I'd use a plastic one so it wouldn't you know, rust, and the only one I had was this hideous cat. That was also from a thrift store so it was God only knows from where and how old. I'm going to guess it was first suffered into existence in the seventies though.
I had the wise idea to clean it but thought that meant I could just brush it up with a q-tip. When in all likelihood the thing needed to soak in bleach for about a week. But who has time for that? So after a few cursory swabs I then set to glueing. And I realized I hadn't read the instructions all that well as it said to rub the surface with sandpaper to make it stick. So I unpeeled it and then rubbed for about four seconds. Then I glued.
By now I realized I had no glitter. I was going to use gold because it was all I had but alas, it went missing just as I started this project only to turn up three weeks later right by the toilet. Of course. Where I keep my glitter naturally.
So as I tore apart the house looking for said glitter I thought it would be a good idea to use tiny beads instead. Mind you. This was in all seriousness. As in, I was convinced that I was going to have a very awesome product at the end of this night. Sigh.
Finally I gave up on finding the gold glitter and like a lightbulb literally exploding over my head I got a burst of inspiration. The dress! You see my daughter got this dress for Christmas that is all silver and covered in glitter. Every time we went to church we literally glitterfied our entire pew plus the walk in, out, to the bathroom and playground. Naturally I did what any sensible person would do. I squeezed my daughter's precious dress like I was milking a teet over the mason jar of red water. That now had brown chunks in it. Alas. I did not see the brown chunks as I was too busy imagining the sheer awesomeness that would be my snowglobe.
Then I screwed on the lid and shook with glee. And then. I facebooked it. Mind you. I still had no earthly idea what a colossal fail this was. One dear friend gently asked what all the brown stuff was. I cheerfully responded it was red gelatin because l was out of clear.
On top of that I noticed a giant puddle. The blasted thing was leaking all over my coffee table.
By the next day the brown stuff had multiplied and some new black stuff... Mold? Alien life form? Had appeared. It's been sitting by our sink right side up because despite my dear husband using a whole can of superglue stuff it still leaks. My creative genius may have lost this round but just you wait Pinsanity world! Next year I'm going to tackle fairy houses. It will be epic.










2 comments:

  1. I can not tell you how much I laughed throughout this entire post. I almost spit coffee on my laptop. The poor cat looks like its trapped in a jar full of measles. I mean that in the nicest possible way.

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