One day, I hope, I will be able to learn a hard lesson solely through vicarious learning. Rather than having to be the one in the thick of it to really 'get' it. Take for example, my unfair attitudes about other people. And how I had to eat those attitudes because I couldn't seem to have grace for them when they were struggling. Most recently this is playing itself out with my youngest child who has taken to having tantrums at the most inopportune times. Like at church. Every single time I go to drop him off at Sunday school class.
I think part of it is that I taught his class last month and then I stopped for my break, only he didn't quite understand why I wasn't there anymore. So he took to wailing. The previous month, there had been several kids that had a hard time. And I tried to have a good attitude, but in all honesty it was a distant: that's not really my problem kind of attitude. Now, in fairness to me I did pray for a couple of the struggling and wonder of wonders it seemed they did better the next week but it never crossed my mind to pray for the even more struggling parents. Now, I find myself desperate as each week is the same despite trying EVERYTHING.
(If you really can't help yourself and simply must post your advice then have at it but know that I am very likely yelling no $@$! Sherlock at the screen. Oh wait, it's Lent, I'm yelling no poop Sherlock, but just wait till Easter, oh boy!)
And I look back on those weeks when I was happily and in the most care-free manner praying for struggling children it now bothers me that it never occurred to me pray also for the parents. Now it does. It really does.
But when I mentioned to a friend that my church now has a new procedure for kids throwing an all-out hiss fit and it's due to the spawn of yours truly I concluded my notes on the matter that the whole thing was surely caused because I had not thought to think of the other parents that had gone before me in this situation. She looked at me like I had said that Leprechauns not only exist but make wonderful financial advisors. 'Is that REALLY your view of how God works?' She asked. I paused, or rather I ran smack into the brick wall of my stupid and petty belief about the Almighty.
What is the truth but that he gently leads those that have young? That the period of night terrors and tantrums for my three-year-old is not something he takes lightly. And someday maybe the three of us: my boy, my savior and me will have a breakfast of fish and joke and laugh about this period in the way only time and family can do.
~with Ann at aholyexperience.com