I thought we could do it. I thought we could somehow push through this time. That some big, Lazarous miracle would actually happen.
The four friends pushed through a ceiling to lower their one down to Jesus. Don't we all have someone we want to get to him, even if it means pushing through a ceiling?
This time I believed we could push through death itself and make a fatal prognosis simply wrong. But I was wrong. Caskets should never, ever, be made that little.
There is only so much of this hurting world that I know about, I realize as I read a stranger's deep pain over losing her one. How she too had tried to push through, get that one down through the blasted ceiling, to him on time. Only she doesn't see it as failing. She sees it as winning. That the one she was pining for is truly alive now.
How much do I believe in resurrection?
Maybe sometimes we are so busy looking for the miracle we want and miss the miracle we need.
We miss that he actually makes all things new, which doesn't mean replacing what was lost but a whole new thing. Sometimes though it's damn hard to let go of the old thing. And death is so final, with no chance for a second glance at the one you love alive and well.
No chance, here, at least. But here is not the only place that is. That, I know. I also know that He is good, all the time. He knows the exact number of our days even though, sometimes, they are far too short.
He knew the exact number of his days. Down to the betrayed garden minute where his freedom ended. He knew how painful it would be. From the sweating blood to the final spear. Yet still. He came. He chose to come for us and die that horrible way.
How much do I believe in the resurrection?
Enough to push through. To push through the pain here for now that one day will be gone. To push through the roof again, and lower a friend down to him again, and maybe just maybe it will be like he said. In one of the many times when he talked about what was to come, he promised that our sorrow will turn to joy.
Our sorrow will turn to joy.
With Ann at aholyexperience.com