Thursday, April 18, 2013

Fasting Fail.

I'd say it's safe to say I failed at my fast this year.
The pastor of my little neighborhood church of ragamuffin hippies called us to a Daniel Fast and a good number of us took to the Vegan-sugarless-no enriched grains diet with as much glee as we could muster. Our hippy background helped I'm sure. 
Last year my heart really wasn't in it but I was proud of how well my hubby stuck with it. This year I was determined to stick with him and do it whole-erm-tofu. (Get it... The phrase is whole hog...) and in the beginning it was going great. Here is where I would put all the fabulous pictures of the recipies I made if I has been savvy enough to take photos of them before I ate them. But alas, they were good and I was hungry so there is no evidence of my fabulousness. Then life happened.
When I get sad or overwhelmed I quite simply turn to chocolate. I'm fairly certain chocolate is not ok for the Daniel fast. It would start off small, just a piece or two, and then when my sweet husband brought home a bag of chocolate Easter eggs that I devoured in one sitting I begged forgiveness from Jesus. On facebook.  Sigh.
A couple different friends talked about failing at fasting and how it reminded them all the more of how much they need him. I guess I already know I need him and it depresses me slightly that even the smallest thing I can do for him I still fail at. 
Maybe though it's kind of like playing sports. In that some practices, and even games, everything gets botched but it's still not for nothing. A new skill is learned or honed even despite losing. I just never have like losing, at anything. It would be good to remember which team I am on though. The team of the one who won it all for all of us, with a savior who beat Death itself. This past Eastern season was a time to reflect and give glory to him. And even if I didn't do it all that well, that even a bit of my selfish heart was turned towards him is a big win. Of that I'm sure. 

2 comments:

  1. It's humbling to fail, but it is good to know how much we need Him. I used to avoid chocolate and now it's almost a staple in my diet. Sigh.

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  2. Hi Court Dan,

    I've heard of the Daniel fast but haven't tried it. My fasts have been much shorter, usually just for a meal, or for part of a day, so I'm a newbie at all this. Don't hang onto your sense of failure and sadness, though. I'm sure those feelings are not what God has for you. He sees you, delights in you, and loves you fiercely.

    Re your comment on my post "Helping Teens See Themselves," ...it's a great video, isn't it? I'm glad you could pause and see it through me this week.

    I bet you're a great parent! It's nice we can all learn from each other through these online forums, huh?

    Jennifer Dougan
    www.jenniferdougan.com

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