Sunday, May 26, 2013

Things not to pray for

There are some general things you should never pray for. Never ask to learn more about. Suffering seems to be one of them. Patience another. If you happen to find yourself pondering what it was like to be Job, just stop. You see all of these things, yours truly, stupidly dwelt on recently. Then entered a season of sickness with asthma. Where I've gotten to learn about suffering and patience. And ok, it's not anywhere near as bad as poor Job had it but its been a hard few weeks nonetheless. I have found myself saying, I can't hold on much longer!
So I didn't. I let go. I fell into my Lord's gentle arms that have the faintest scars from being nailed to a cross, for me, to free me from all this craziness. That this current battle isn't even remotely over doesn't bother me. That I'm still gasping for air each moment as my asthma flares out of control is exhausting but making me supremely thankful for air. It is a glorious thing. I am alive and breathing it still and this is a wonderful thing to celebrate. 
Also precious has been experiencing the warm embrace of grace and love from my church during this time. The many kind words and fervent prayers made on my tiny, wheezy, behalf. Not to mention a basket of cookies, that arrived on a particularly hard day which made them taste sweeter, a friend giving my exhausted hubby a short break by having CJ over for a play-date, and that same sweet soul even sent him home with a loaf of nut bread. And I couldn't even begin to expound upon the wonderful ways my husband has tirelessly served me for a month now with hardly any break or time to himself away from the kids. 
From this hard time I have learned that my church loves me very well, my family is my sweet little haven, and my God is good all the time. To me. Even now, in this time, as my chest tightens up as I write this and even in ways I don't fully understand; He is still good, all the time. And I will keep praying for things that I may slightly regret praying for later because I never regret the journey that He takes me on and through when He's bringing me through something. 

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